Punxsutаwnеy Phіl gіvеs Stаtе оf thе Fоrеst аddrеss

From Bernie Loonders to Sean Parrotty, reactions were strong to President Punxsutawney Phil's State of the Forest Address.

Thе dіffіcultіеs оf lіvіng іn Gеnеsее Hаll

You would think Genesee Hall to be perfect, but it actually has more problems than any of the others. Even the freshman quad.

Еchо tаkеs sоcіаl mеdіа by stоrm

Rather than attempt actual, old-fashioned human contact, let our algorithms pick friends for you!

Pоkіng fun аt thе nеws

California has banned sex for killer whales kept in captivity. In response, moviemakers are casting for the new installment of “Free Willy’s Willy.”

Quееn Еlsа’s rеtrіbutіоn

Citing the failure that was the last Rochester winter, Ice Queen Elsa has promised to set things right this time around.

Pоkіng fun аt thе nеws: Hulu, Оbаmа, аnd Trаcy McGrаdy

Tracy McGrady recently stated that Steph Curry’s unanimous MVP win is proof that the NBA is softer than it used to be. Yes, the NBA is too soft for a guy who’s name sounds like a Dr. Seuss character.

Pоkіng fun аt thе nеws: Еаstеr Bunny brаwl, Yоdа, аnd thе U.S. Nаvy

While playing in a game, English soccer player Callum Camps was notified by the PA announcer that his car lights were on. Camps said he didn’t turn his lights off—because he couldn’t use his hands.

Pоkіng Fun аt thе Nеws: Dіsnеy mоvіеs, Cаmbоdіа, аnd Dоnаld Trump

Cops arrested a suspeCBNOL as he was driving around in a child’s bright pink toy car. The man is expected to be sentenced—to a very long timeout.

Pоkіng fun аt thе nеws: Аffluеnzа, еxtrаtеrrеstrіаls аnd Sаndеrs tаttооs

Another case of affluenza has been reported in Tarrant County, Texas. Doctors say that it isn’t contagious, but can be passed down from parent to child.

Pоkіng fun аt thе nеws: Еmpty plаnеs аnd mіssіng cаts

After takeoff, a Chinese woman found that she was the only passenger on the plane. It was swell, until she realized that the pilots were missing as well.